Thursday, December 30, 2010

20% in 2011

I'm on a mission... to educate diners about proper tip etiquette.

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to not assume the worst of people, mainly my guests at Bloggiano's.
I WANT to believe the verbal tippers and people I've served well WANT to leave me a good tip. Maybe they really just don't know how...

So here we go, kiddies! Today's math lesson is inspired by a little song and dance I did for my friend, Alex and his family, when they came in to eat the other night. (As I told you before, Alex, if you don't request me next time...we will no longer be friends. And you're welcome, for mentioning you in the blog!) 

Tip your server 20%, which I strongly believe you should do unless something THEY did made the experience bad. I'm not talking about you not liking your food, or the kitchen being super busy, or the wait being long....I'm saying the server ignores your requests or is just a jackass.

Here's the easiest way to figure it out:

1) Look at the total
2) Move the decimal point over ONCE to the left
3) Multiply times 2

Ta-da!! 20%!!! You did it!!!

Example: Bill total is $43.95. Now we move the decimal over and it's $4.39. Multiply times two and you get about $8.78. TWENTY PERCENT!! :)

Another basic idea: For every $5 your meal costs, tip $1. So if you meal is $35, your tip should be $7. If your meal is $70, your tip should be $14. Learn your times table for the number FIVE, and you're golden! all of my loyal readers! Be safe tonight! And don't worry, I'm serving it up at Bloggiano's NYE and New Year's Day! I'll be back in the new year with some great stories and rants for you!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I broke a chair.

Guess I shouldn't have eaten so much during the holidays.

I went to fold my napkins at the beginning of a shift, pulled out my chair and went to sit....BOOM.
It broke.

Everyone laughed. My manager joked about my weight. I had flashbacks of breaking my dorm bed in college freshman year. Not the fun way. 

At least it wasn't a guest.

At Bloggiano's: Quality comes first.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Is it January yet??


I am exhausted.

I've been working five shifts a week for the month of December, and I'm about to lose it. Yes, I know full-time people work five days a week, but I'm pretty sure you get to sit down and stare at Facebook (or hopefully this blog) all day for at least a little bit of your day. And you probably don't end up with marinara sauce all over your clothes...unless you're a really messy eater.

Being a server during the holidays is TOUGH. Guests are on edge being with their families, and stressing over money they have to spend on gifts. And the restaurant staff? We're all just barely hanging on... there was even a big argument at my server meeting tonight, which never happens.

Oh, and have I mentioned my schedule for New Year's? Don't worry, I'm working the dinner shift on NYE starting at 3:30pm and definitely not getting out before midnight...and that's fine. But wait. I'm right back in to work the lunch shift on New Year's 9:30am! Kill me now.

P.S. I know I'm going to be wishing it was December again when it's January and I'm only making $200 a week. 

I need a drink.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Well, this little Jew just got home from working the dinner shift on xmas eve. Isn't it awesome to be a server? Honestly, I don't mind working because:

a) I'm Jewish
b) I made bank

....maybe now I could go buy some xmas presents for myself! Ok, ok, and maybe some for my family and friends ;)

While I'd love to say people were exceedingly nice and generous with tips on this holiday, it is not so. I think people are just annoyed about having to be with their family two nights in a row, so they're a little on edge. So thank you to my two Asian tables for tipping $10 on $75. Hope Santa remembers your generosity! Oh, and nothing beats the girl with tourette's who let out an ear piercing scream while walking by me. Ouch.

I still made more money in one night than I've ever made there, so no complaints here!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my wonderful readers! I'm thankful for you :)
(Your server who made the holiday REALLY "special")

Monday, December 20, 2010

That's just creepy.

I heard a rumor (Oh, how I LOVE work rumors) that one of the girls from my training class had a crush on one of the dinner servers. Apparently he told her she looks like Lucy Liu, and now she's smitten. I ALSO heard he'd flirt with a cardboard box.

I had a weird encounter with him during my dinner training. He came up to me to introduce himself and said, "You're the girl who sent a message out about Hanukkah."

Oh, yeah. I needed the day off to celebrate with my family.

End of conversation. 

I brushed it off until my most recent interaction with him on another dinner shift. I was eating on my break and after 10 minutes of not speaking to me (but sitting next to me) he asked,
"So do you speak Hebrew?"

Shortly after, he told me he loved Hebrew.

Next awkward moment happened while sitting across the table from him on a different shift break. After another 10 minutes of not speaking he asked,
"Do you want to have kids?"

That's just creepy. This guy needs to learn to lead into his conversations. But now I definitely get what everyone was talking about. He must like to have a LOT of  "Work Flirts."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Rose has a new jacket...and is pretty racist.

Everyone's favorite Bloggiano's guest is at it again...

Apparently she did well at Hanukkah because her children bought her the jean jacket she was wearing, which she claimed makes her look, "young" and "hip."

It goes great with your cane, Rose.

Our conversation took a turn for the worse when she told me she'd been speaking to the new girl in front selling Bloggiano's Gift Cards.
"You know the girl in the front? The blonde one?"

Yes, Rose.

"You know she's from Germany?"


"She looks like a typical Nazi. Blonde. Blue eyes. Her Grandfather was probably a sergeant."

Wow, Rose. Wow..

Monday, December 13, 2010

I laughed, I cried...

...and Homer split his shirt open.


I don't know why, but Mondays are just goofy days. Maybe all the servers are delirious from the combo of working all weekend, while also partying all weekend. Or, maybe it's leftover fumes from Sunday bug nights. Anyway, today's shift meeting resulted in our manager calling Homer out for his chest showing through his shirt. 

The man canNOT seem to fit his big neck into his oxford shirt, so you can always see some skin peeking from underneath his tie.

Homer's response: "Well the shirt usually fits just fine, but I've been pumping a lot lately so maybe that's why."

...You guys remember he's like a 60-something year old black man, right??

I spent the following 10 minutes in tears from laughing too hard. I love people.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Last Friday, December 10th was my 26th birthday. And I worked. Lunch.

Actually I wasn't all that upset about it. I love my birthday (and getting special attention) so I was happy to share the wonderful news with EVERY ONE of my tables in hopes of bigger tips! :)

I had a party of 15 come in, and when I went over to see what they were celebrating I asked,
"Are you guys here to celebrate my birthday???"
They were a really fun group, and totally went with me on it. In between courses, a couple of the men told me they were taking a poll on how old I was... The group average was 21 or 22. Thank you, genetics for my youthful face!

As if I hadn't milked it enough, when they asked me to take a group picture, I shouted with the camera, 
"Ok now everyone say 'Happy Birthday, Lindsay on three!'"  

They loved it. 

What really made my day was when I came to drop the check and they actually sang Happy Birthday to ME...their server! It was really sweet....even though I didn't get any cake or free cookies. 

Well, I'm another day closer to 30. At least I don't look it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Easy Estrogen

You know when you go to a restaurant and ask for special requests ie dressing on the side, extra avocado, no onions? Well, we have buttons for that on our amazingly advanced POS system. It stands for piece of shit point of service.

Inspired by our lovely technology, I'd like to modify this entry, or entrĂ©e if you will (Ok, ok that was a bad joke) with the special request of EASY on the ESTROGEN.

My most recent shift was filled with female servers. We had to come in extra early at 9am to set up the restaurant after they sprayed for buggies; it's preventative. Seven tired girls walking around the restaurant with the biggest attitudes. I swear it was like that saying that girls who live together cycle together.... the whole staff acted like PMS was their purpose in life.

I was definitely exhausted when I came in, but somehow their moods affected my normally chipper personality. I started wanting to kill people just as much as the rest of the girls. As soon as I got my first table, I knew I wouldn't be making ANY money on the shift, and just gave up.

I was in a bad mood. And after I got three tables in a row of, "Just water" and "We'll split the classic pasta for $12," I didn't give a crap about any of my other tables. I felt especially bad for my section partner, who got effed on her party of 8 that split the check and subsequently did not tip. Every time I ran into someone while boxing food or getting drinks, they were muttering something under their breath about kicking butt or hopefully getting cut soon.

Moral of the story: We could've really used some male servers to make the restaurant less like a sorority house after a night going to a frat party.

Monday, December 6, 2010

I don't care if you're Italian.

I've always worked for Italian restaurants. And I'm always baffled by the "real" Italians who come in to eat.

You know you're at a chain restaurant where Mexicans are cooking your Italian food, right???

This time it was Franco and his family. He insisted on saying "gratzi" to everything I supplied him with, and therefore insisted I respond with "prego."

"You know, Prego, like the Paul Newman means you're welcome in Italian."

Oh. Cool. I don't care.

He also inspected his wine glass with the most detail I've ever witnessed. Thankfully, I'd made sure it was spotless before bringing it to the table. Throughout the meal, Franco remarked at my wonderful service. When the manager came by to see how everything was, they raved about me. Thanks Franco!

I guess he was still feeling European when he tipped me $10 on $78. 

Bloggianos is definitely authentic Italian food. Nope.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Laila loves Subway

We have 5 managers at Bloggiano's. Excluding our GM, only one is female. During training, we didn't have much interaction with the managers beyond asking them questions on the floor. My initial impression of Laila was that I wasn't sure I'd like her. She seemed to talk a lot, and almost seemed to question our skills to serve at all.

Boy, was I wrong.

Laila (pronounced LIE-la, or she'll be pissed) is from Spain, I think, so she has this awesome accent that makes everything she says sound funny. I love when she holds shift meetings, because usually she just wants to drink wine and taste the food. I find that I relate to her management style (remember I was a manager at Mama D's) because generally the servers go to her when they don't want to be lectured and need a simple solution. It's not to say she doesn't follow the rules. She just gets things done without making you feel like a child for having to ask permission to do something. 

Anyway, recently she's been cracking me up at break-time. I've mentioned our family meal for Sunday morning, but the other week they forgot to make it for us. Laila, just as upset as we were, sent a couple of the servers on a mission to get her food. Originally she wanted McDonald's breakfast, but then the bartender told her about Subway's breakfast sandwiches. We all laughed as she gathered her money for the bartender, and ended up giving him $7.89 exactly. What??? Now that she's tried Subway breakfast, it's all she can talk about....

Imagine this in a Spanish accent:
"Leeeeensay, have you had dis Subway breakfast-time?? You should really do it like O'Ryan have to get di egg, an' di cheese, an' di spiiiinach, and tomayyytoes! It is really very tasty, ok?" 

....I hope you rolled your "r's" when you read that. 

Laila loves Subway. And I love Laila.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Oh Jesus...

This happens sometimes.

"The Pamphlet People"

Maybe they think because I work in a restaurant, I need to find 'The Lord' so I can be saved...

If you're gonna ask me to "Be Thankful" and abandon my Judaism, you could at least leave me more than a $3 tip. That might make the Bible more appealing.

...I'm just sayin ;)

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