The nod.

Is this a waitor? Or the Godfather?...The Nodfather!

God bless our managers. They are trying SO hard to make shift meetings interesting for us...

And yet, the topic last night was a selling technique we will call, "The Nod."
We sat around discussing how if you nod to your guests as you're describing a particular dish, they're more likely to bite. Apparently, this is real selling technique, but I couldn't help but laugh as I looked around the room and 15 servers and 3 managers were all "practicing" THE NOD!
We looked like a room full of bobbleheads.

To make it even more comical, the managers had us go around the room and individually practice selling our favorite item using the nod technique. Sooo creepy. 

But for the record, I was voted into the Top 3 to win free dinner for our nodding skills! YES! 

I have to 'bus' my ass tonight!

The bussers are BUS-ted! 
Ok. I'm done with that joke, I swear.

On a typical night, the servers tip our bussers between 2-4% of our server sales.
If they bring bread and water to my tables, I give them 3%.
If they help me box food, 3.5%.
If they do all of the above and help clear plates on my tables, I give them 4%.

The managers aren't really allowed to tell us what to tip-out. Some weird corporate thing, I'm sure. Anyway, I'm not sure how they figured it out, but the managers realized on a night where the busser has 4 servers to take care of...if he knows two of them tip him higher than the other two, he'll neglect the two that tip lower. This means the servers tipping lower are wondering, "where is my busser?" all night!

To make things more "fair," the managers have told the bussers they are no longer permitted to get us water and bread for the tables, no longer allowed to help clear or box food. Their #1 priority is to keep the server stations around the restaurant stocked with full water pitchers, plates, and glasses.

PROS: 

• I never go to grab a water pitcher and find that all 8 in my server station are empty
• We're now told to only tip-out 2% for the busser....that could mean $20 instead of $40!
• Running around because I have more work to do is good for my upcoming trip to Hawaii ;)

CONS:

• When I get triple sat, it takes forever to get water and bread for all my tables. I get a lot of, "is the bread coming?" from the guests
• I'm a girl. I feel my carpal tunnel getting worse with those heavy plates
• I miss the extra help already :(

I mostly feel bad for the bussers. I think they SHOULD have a job like ours where the harder you work, the more money you make...

Rose doesn't want me to convert.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Work has really been getting at me this week...so it's about time I vent!

But first, a little story about everyone's favorite regular!

One of our lunch servers got a big boy job, and is moving into another servant serving position: Production Assistant. Rose, who has always thought he looked like a "nice, Jewish boy" (he's actually Catholic) was pretty sad to hear it was his last day...

"Who am I gunna bother now?"
The rest of us will still be here for you, Rose!
"I don't wanna bother you. I wanna bother him!"
Rose, you know he's been trying to get me to convert to Catholicism for him??
"WHAT?!? NO! YOU'RE JEWISH!"

Guess she won't miss him THAT much :)

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...

SUPER MOON!

On Saturday, March 19, I managed to get myself scheduled for the worst of all the worst full moons:

THE SUPER MOON!

http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/4425664-418/story.html

That's right, the largest and brightest full moon in 18 years! 

C'mon, Lindsay! You're supposed to schedule yourself OFF on days like this!

The restaurant was as chaotic as ever, servers running all over for insane demanding guests possessed by the full moon. The server alley was impossible to get through, the water and ice were never stocked, even the usually cheerful coffee lady was "TOO BUSY" to help anyone, and proclaimed the chilled plates were hers only when servers wanted to use them for dessert plates.

Luckily for me, I was just freakishly busy...I didn't have any crazies.
But a few of my friends did...

• Like the party of 16 whose Family Style First Course came out, and they yelled at the server because half the group couldn't eat dairy...yet they chose their items. When the server re-did the order and tried to confirm it with the group, their host yelled at him again and said, "I don't care. Bring me my food. I'm hungry!" 
• Or the guy who yelled at my friend for not garnishing his bloody mary with celery. Get over it, Mister. We use an olive and lime. Drink it, and like it. When she got it more dressed up for him, he still complained and pulled anyone who'd listen over to the table. The other guest lowered their eyes in embarrassment, but none of them seemed to complain about the managers comping their $200 dinner.
• How about when the same party of 16 got drunk and started fighting with EACH OTHER in the middle of the dining room around 10:30?!?

I just put in a request NOT to work on April 18th. 

Don't get fussy with me, Rose!

On a lunch shift, we usually have 2 servers on the floor right away at 11am when we open. The other few must take their break from 11:30-12 so they can't take tables when they first arrive at the restaurant.

This particular day, Rose came in right away at 11...but the section where HER table is (Table 2, btw) didn't have a server yet. The dumb hostess started to tell Rose she couldn't sit at that table because there is no server to take care of her...

Uh oh...

Rose LOST it. She screamed at the hostess and told her she would sit wherever she wants because SHE is the boss.

I came out just as all of this happened, and told the hostess not to worry....we would take care of Rose no matter whose section she sat in. The only bad part is, I had to deal with the aftermath:

"Can you believe that girl tried to tell me I can't sit at my table? Who does she think she is?"

Rose, it's ok. She didn't know. She doesn't normally work lunch.

"Whattaya mean she didn't know? How could she not know who I am?"

Oy.

Then, she started to get snippy with me, saying I must be "too busy" to take care of her. But since I feel comfortable putting her in her place, I had none of her sass.
Don't get fussy with me, Rose! I'm not the one you're mad at!


Needless to say, Rose told EVERYONE that walked past her about what happened.

Aren't we all on the same team?

As a server, I tend to be extra considerate when I go out to eat. I think everyone who reads this and is also in the restaurant industry can say the same thing.

But here's what I don't understand. We have those lovely little Team Member Rewards cards. They get us a 50% discount at any of their brand locations. That's great.

But why is it we don't just tell the server right off the bat that we are a Team Member? Why do we wait until the very end, and whip it out like some kind of sick surprise? Ha HA! I'm a Team Member! GOT YOU!

Shouldn't we just help each other not stress about yet ANOTHER table, and feel comfortable with one of our own? 

I'm guilty of it as well. I've used mine twice, and didn't tell the server either time. One time with my friends, I really wanted to because the server was giving us the whole schpeal when I already knew everything. But I didn't. And I'm sure she felt like shit when I brought it out, and she remembered how she'd forgotten to bring us bread in the beginning.

I'm starting a movement. Let's do this the easy way, people!

Clusterf*ck Weekend

I went to bed with my feet throbbing from an 8 hour shift.
I woke up, and they still hurt.

This weekend was a clusterfuck. There's no other way to describe it.

SATURDAY
Saturday morning didn't start off well. I was feeling pretty chipper while setting up the restaurant (thank you ipod) until I was 5 minutes from break time and our GM asked me to take my co-worker, Minnesota, to urgent care. Apparently she popped her back while getting out of the car. No break for me.

Right when I got back, the restaurant opened and I had my first crazy hit with only 2 of us serving. Awesome. We're supposed to have 7 servers on this lunch shift, but with one person calling in, and Minnesota in the ER, we're down to 5. The first turn was smooth, and my friend Jared even came in with his mom to get his birthday lunch (Hi Jared!) but right as they were leaving, things started to get wild.

I had so many tables, and no partnered sections so we were all on our own. It was so bad I actually had to scroll down to look at all my tables on the computer screen. Me, a girl who normally cocktails (and worked my last Saturday clusterfuck shift with me), Homer, and the Old Lady from my serving class who SUCKS....wait, that's only 4 servers you say? Ya, because they cut one girl early at 1pm. WHY??

For the rest of the day, I never had less than 5 tables at once, usually more like 8, while also getting large parties. I nearly drowned. "In the weeds" can't even describe it. It was one of those days where I didn't even know how to help myself, my brain was scrambled and I just ran from table to table. Thankfully, I still got AWESOME tips because I kept smiling and hid my panic well. Even though I wanted to cry, I made almost $200 that lunch....the most I've ever walked with at Bloggiano's. So I guess it was worth the craziness!
Sales: $1250

SUNDAY
Worked a closing dinner shift, which I seriously hate. I really need to tell the manager I don't want to be a night closer. So not worth it. This shift was ALSO a madhouse because we had about 300 reservations, where we normally have about 150. Right when we came on at 4:30, the bussers were on break. Awesome. It was nuts. My partner ended up taking the bulk of our small tables, while I took our large parties. Both went really well until on my second party of 13 doing Family Style where the kitchen FORGOT my salmon entrée. SHIT. And that's not an easy item to make "on the fly." I did the right thing and got a manager involved. Didn't want to risk my tip on a bill that was over $400! The host was a little on edge, but the group was wow'd by the manager and chef hand-delivering the items and then bringing out a special VIP dessert platter. Phew. Still got my 18%. 
Sales: $1100

Net Sales from this Weekend: $2350 

Who wants to give me a foot massage??

It's the little things.

The morning after our holiday party, everyone was pretty out of it hungover.

Luckily, Laila was the opening manager (hooray!) which meant a morning without a shift meeting, eating LOTS of food, and making cotton candy with the party rental from the night before.
While everyone appreciated the chill morning, Homer was still in his usual form...
Non
Stop
Talking!
You can't dare ask a question around him, because he'll go on for hours! And lately, I've been having to close with JUST him at lunch...which means he's my PARTNER. I usually just ignore him and help his tables, because he even talks them to death while others sit waiting.

One of my friends at work (who won Class Clown at "prom" btw) and I love to joke about how we might mess with Homer. Remember when I hid the holiday cards?? That was fun.

This time, I took advantage of Homer's organization methods. Towards the end of a shift, he lays all of his closed checks out on a table in the back room...spread out in order like Solitare. It's actually quite irresponsible because you could easily lose them that way.

So what did I do?

I mixed them up a bit. #43 next to #39, swapped #81 for #125, etc etc etc....
We had a little giggle. It's harmless fun, right??

The show really came later when Homer discovered it, and had the verbal reaction I'd hoped for.

Ahhh, the little things in life.

(Don't feel bad for him. Earlier that day he assumed I had Native American blood because I wore my hair in a braid.)

Awkward Prom 2011

We just had our holiday party at Bloggiano's. Yes, a holiday party in February.

I have managed to work EVERY SINGLE holiday. And to put the icing on my zuccotto cake, I also got scheduled to work the night of the holiday party. Oh, AND the morning after. I win at life.

Here are the Top Ten reasons why our holiday party was so very awkward:

10) It's prom-themed. Didn't we all do that about 10 years ago??

9) It's AT Bloggiano's. With NO booze. By the time I got ready and back there for the party, I was about 10 shots too sober to be there. Everyone had gone out to drink prior.

8) Homer wore his James Brown wig. Every time I saw him come towards me to ask for a dance, I magically heard my name being called from across the room. 

7) The one guy who "didn't take it seriously" and showed up looking like a 'Where's Waldo' hipster edition.

6) The cheesy DJ, who wouldn't play any song we requested. And was about 5 feet tall. I mean, really. We're  having the party AT the restaurant, with no alcohol. We can't afford a good DJ??

5) Our manager dressing up as the High School football coach, running around blowing a whistle at people dancing too close together.

4) The "Prom King" being too wasted to know he won.

3) The fact that the majority of employees in attendance were the Mexican kitchen staff, whose eyes I felt undressing me every time I stepped on the dance floor. They literally stood silently on the perimeter, watching.

2) The girls who decided to be funny and wear 80's prom outfits.

1) After 1.5 hours being there (sober, remember) the party ended. And I went home. Only to be back at work in 9 hours. Why did I bother going??

I guess it made for good writing material, at least.

Thank you, http://awkwardpromcouples.blogspot.com

"It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs!"

Gotta love a good "Mean Girls" quote...

The oddest part about having work friends in a restaurant is that we wear uniforms 90% of the time we see each other. The idea of my co-workers seeing me with my hair down, and in real clothes reminds me of a Catholic schoolgirl bringing a change of clothes from home...

Last night I went to a benefit concert for one of Bloggiano's most beloved bartenders, Chris, who passed away on New Year's Eve. I never brought it up on the blog because I want to respect his family's privacy. Chris was one of my favorite co-workers, even though I only knew him three months. I found out two months into my time there, that he suffered from Crohn's Disease and was struggling to pay for his treatments. But you'd NEVER know Chris was sick. He had a smile for me every morning, and always asked how my day was going.

Of course, Chris wasn't only a bartender. He was an immensely talented musician and actor, as well. He could do an impersonation of ANYONE working at Bloggiano's. He really cracked me up! I know he touched so many lives, in the work place and his personal life, so of course I wanted to support his family and attend the benefit concert to help them pay for his funeral costs.

Anyway, on a lighter note (that Chris would absolutely demand) I got to see a lot of my co-workers outside their Catholic school uniforms at the concert. Ohhhh she's a lot thinner than I realized! He's a horrible dresser! She's a hipster?? He's not as hot in real life...

One of my girl friends noticed my first work crush staring at me every chance he got. She thought, "Wow! I think he's work crushing on you now!" 

I replied, "No. He's just realizing I have boobs."

Today, I'll put the uniform back on. 

Happy Work Weekend, Readers! 

Chris, you are LOVED.

Cartwheels

Typically I hate closing lunch shifts for one reason: 4:50pm.

Why?

Well, the dinner servers come in at 3:30pm, but they don't start taking tables until 5:00pm. They take a break from 4:30-5:00pm. But EVERY day, we get a rush of early birds at 4:50pm. And the two lunch closers are stuck running around with no bussers, trying to start every single table....which we then transfer at 5:00pm when the dinner shift can come onto the floor. 

It's a nightmare. 

Sometimes there's even the extra fun of being out of bread because someone's on a break, which is exciting. 

However, the last two days have been conveniently slow from 4:30-5:00pm. Yesterday there wasn't a single table in the restaurant. I went around the dimly lit room and lit each of the table candles with a long, single candle. It looked so creepy. 

Then I went into the backroom to tell the dinner servers that, "If [they] ever wanted to do a cartwheel through the middle of the dining room without any guests seeing, this was the time!"

We decided to do a conga line. It was my manager's idea :)

I love being home by 5:30pm!

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen!

I need to find the balance between getting my food out on time, and getting molested by the kitchen staff.

It appears I have won the hearts of many of our kitchen staff...

The other night I really got myself in trouble when they were ALL working the same shift.

-Oso, my teddy bear food runner
-Another food runner I've befriended who was working at a pasta cook
-Hottie tattooed Chef #1
-Hottie banquet Chef #2

Gulp.

Needless to say, they were not pleased to see me "flirt" and hug any of the other staff members. Hottie Chef #2 got so competitive that he actually asked me on a real date.... which I politely declined because I "don't date people I work with." Last night got a little tricky when my desserts were taking too long and Hottie Chef  #2 saw me waiting nervously.

"You're so busy making sure your food runner gets the food to your table, you forget if you talk to me...I can MAKE the food ready faster, baby!" 

I'm so busted.

Homer's Holiday Cards

I hid them.

Well serves him right! He walked up to me and asked, "Did I give you a holiday card yet?" 

No, but if you don't remember if you gave it to me...does it really mean anything?

"Do you want a kitty or the other thing?"

Umm...kitty?

And then he proceeded to sign it and put my name on the envelope...in front of me.

A couple days later, I saw the pack of cards laying out and decided to have a little a LOT of fun. I hid them in on a shelf in the back room. Homer ran around the restaurant for 30 minutes asking everyone if they'd seen his holiday cards. I was feeling very sneaky and laughing to myself, until I realized I ended up punishing the rest of the staff since we had to listen to him talk about it for 30 minutes.

After that thought, I made them reappear without him ever knowing it was me. 

Happy Holidays, Homer!

I broke a chair.

Guess I shouldn't have eaten so much during the holidays.

I went to fold my napkins at the beginning of a shift, pulled out my chair and went to sit....BOOM.
It broke.

Everyone laughed. My manager joked about my weight. I had flashbacks of breaking my dorm bed in college freshman year. Not the fun way. 

At least it wasn't a guest.

At Bloggiano's: Quality comes first.

Is it January yet??

Oh.My.God.

I am exhausted.

I've been working five shifts a week for the month of December, and I'm about to lose it. Yes, I know full-time people work five days a week, but I'm pretty sure you get to sit down and stare at Facebook (or hopefully this blog) all day for at least a little bit of your day. And you probably don't end up with marinara sauce all over your clothes...unless you're a really messy eater.

Being a server during the holidays is TOUGH. Guests are on edge being with their families, and stressing over money they have to spend on gifts. And the restaurant staff? We're all just barely hanging on... there was even a big argument at my server meeting tonight, which never happens.

Oh, and have I mentioned my schedule for New Year's? Don't worry, I'm working the dinner shift on NYE starting at 3:30pm and definitely not getting out before midnight...and that's fine. But wait. I'm right back in to work the lunch shift on New Year's Day...at 9:30am! Kill me now.


P.S. I know I'm going to be wishing it was December again when it's January and I'm only making $200 a week. 


I need a drink.

That's just creepy.

I heard a rumor (Oh, how I LOVE work rumors) that one of the girls from my training class had a crush on one of the dinner servers. Apparently he told her she looks like Lucy Liu, and now she's smitten. I ALSO heard he'd flirt with a cardboard box.

I had a weird encounter with him during my dinner training. He came up to me to introduce himself and said, "You're the girl who sent a message out about Hanukkah."

Oh, yeah. I needed the day off to celebrate with my family.

End of conversation. 

I brushed it off until my most recent interaction with him on another dinner shift. I was eating on my break and after 10 minutes of not speaking to me (but sitting next to me) he asked,
"So do you speak Hebrew?"

Shortly after, he told me he loved me...in Hebrew.

Next awkward moment happened while sitting across the table from him on a different shift break. After another 10 minutes of not speaking he asked,
"Do you want to have kids?"

That's just creepy. This guy needs to learn to lead into his conversations. But now I definitely get what everyone was talking about. He must like to have a LOT of  "Work Flirts."

I laughed, I cried...

...and Homer split his shirt open.

Kinda.

I don't know why, but Mondays are just goofy days. Maybe all the servers are delirious from the combo of working all weekend, while also partying all weekend. Or, maybe it's leftover fumes from Sunday bug nights. Anyway, today's shift meeting resulted in our manager calling Homer out for his chest showing through his shirt. 

The man canNOT seem to fit his big neck into his oxford shirt, so you can always see some skin peeking from underneath his tie.

Homer's response: "Well the shirt usually fits just fine, but I've been pumping a lot lately so maybe that's why."

...You guys remember he's like a 60-something year old black man, right??

I spent the following 10 minutes in tears from laughing too hard. I love people.

Easy Estrogen

You know when you go to a restaurant and ask for special requests ie dressing on the side, extra avocado, no onions? Well, we have buttons for that on our amazingly advanced POS system. It stands for piece of shit point of service.

Inspired by our lovely technology, I'd like to modify this entry, or entrée if you will (Ok, ok that was a bad joke) with the special request of EASY on the ESTROGEN.

My most recent shift was filled with female servers. We had to come in extra early at 9am to set up the restaurant after they sprayed for buggies; it's preventative. Seven tired girls walking around the restaurant with the biggest attitudes. I swear it was like that saying that girls who live together cycle together.... the whole staff acted like PMS was their purpose in life.

I was definitely exhausted when I came in, but somehow their moods affected my normally chipper personality. I started wanting to kill people just as much as the rest of the girls. As soon as I got my first table, I knew I wouldn't be making ANY money on the shift, and just gave up.

I was in a bad mood. And after I got three tables in a row of, "Just water" and "We'll split the classic pasta for $12," I didn't give a crap about any of my other tables. I felt especially bad for my section partner, who got effed on her party of 8 that split the check and subsequently did not tip. Every time I ran into someone while boxing food or getting drinks, they were muttering something under their breath about kicking butt or hopefully getting cut soon.

Moral of the story: We could've really used some male servers to make the restaurant less like a sorority house after a night going to a frat party.

Homer Phones Home

Remember Homer from my training days?

I've since figured out that he
Never
Stops
Talking.

All of the servers have pretty much resorted to ignoring him when he speaks (most of the time he's talking to himself anyway) and everyone knows you never ask him a question....unless you want to spend the next 10 minutes listening to him talk about it. This time, it was a lecture about extra-terrestrials and how the world would be better without humans. And, I swear the other day I caught him talking to our computers, telling them the order he'd like to put in. It's not voice-activated, Homer!

While folding napkins before my break, he got to talking about being holistic for the last 25 years. The man carries around a huge container or Purell and apparently never takes medicine. He told me he never gets sick because he mentally accepts the illness, and then sends it out to the world.

Please don't send your crazy my way! Thanks!


OH! I almost forgot that when another girl made a joke he liked, he commented, "Girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my 'to do' list." Ewwwwwwww

V.I.P Family Style for FREE!

I decided to cash in my free Family Style for 4 last week. As mentioned before, I'd already promised two seats to my friends Ryan and Kyle, and rounded out the group with my friend Jenny who's also been a slave to the restaurant world for years.

We met at the restaurant at 8, thinking it would be late enough on a weeknight to not interrupt their dinner rush. I got a little nervous to bring my friends... At my previous serving job, if I walked in my guests and I were treated like kings and queens, but I'm still a newbie at Bloggiano's. No one on the night shifts know me. One of our assistant managers walked by as I stood by the host stand. He saw me smiling, but had no idea who I was. See! I told you that stupid uniform hides that I can look attractive! Anyway, we were seated to one of the booths and I was excited to see a familiar face come up to serve us, one of the guys who closes with me on most lunch shifts. We got our order in and got ready for the feast with a bottle of Pinot Noir...

Our Family Style Dinner Menu Choices

Two Appetizers: Zucchini Fritte and Stuffed Mushrooms
Two Salads: Chopped Salad and Spinach Salad
Four Entrées: Rigatoni D, Mom's Favorite Lasagna, Chicken Parmesan, and Chicken Saltimbocca
Two Desserts: Apple Crostada and Pumpkin Cheesecake

If you remember correctly, Family Style is normally a flat rate per person, and you make choices from the categories I listed above and it comes out in three courses, with portions made for the amount in your party. It's a LOT of food!

After the first course came out (the apps and salads), I warned my friends not to eat too much too soon....there's a ton of food coming! Normally, Family Style is replenish-able by course, but you have to ask for more of what you want, and you have to eat some of it! You can't just order it, simply to have it boxed up for later. (People always try to cheat the system.) My jaw dropped when Danny, our server, came out with the mushrooms and shrugged, "I figured...why not?" 


When the second course came out, I HAD to get a pic for the blog. It's just too good.

Oh yeah. At 6 o'clock, you'll see the Famous Rigatoni D....the dish that made Ryan and Kyle want to drive over the hill to the Valley.

Thank goodness my friends are good eaters, because we powered through the second course until we felt completely stuffed. (I'm glad I purposely wore my stretchy pants and a top that hid my food baby!) Just when I was ordering the boys to eat more..."I worked hard for this dinner, dammit!!"... Danny walked up with refires of the Rigatoni D and Chicken Parm.

"I figured....hey, why not?!?"


A second bottle of Pinot later, and we were packing up 10 to-go boxes of food to take home and praying we'd be able to eat the dessert. What an intense amount of food...I swear I started to get the food sweats, Jersey Shore-style. But I held strong for my favorite: Apple Crostada! For a party of four, we SHOULD have gotten one of each dessert, but Danny (who I am now realizing wants me to be a fatty) brought us TWO of each! The crostada was just as amazing as I hoped, but I felt like I'd never eat again afterward.

A bill that should have been $206 without tip turned out to be $85 with the free Family Style! Even though it wasn't a totally "free" dinner, it was an amazing experience and I'm so glad I could share it with my friends! Thanks so much you guys!!! Of course, we left Danny a huge tip for hooking us up and making it fun!

I didn't eat for a whole day after. And I'm pretty sure my friends ate Bloggiano's leftovers the rest of the week!