Not Lost in Translation

We get a lot of Israeli guests at Bloggiano's. And despite their stereotype for low tipping and being on the rude side, I always get a little excited to hear them speak Hebrew to each other.

Imagine my surprise when one of my four tables on Easter Sunday was a party of 8 Israelis. Throughout their time at my table, I heard them discussing the menu for their Family Style order in Hebrew and was tempted to wish them a Happy Passover, but didn't want to overstep my boundaries.

When it came time to box up the food, I heard the two mothers say they wanted to split it chetzi v' chetzi, and without thinking, I jumped into the conversation and told them I could split the food for them.

One of the fathers gave me a smile. "You understand us, don't you?"

Oops. Yes! Sorry for interrupting. I understand some Hebrew from living in Tel Aviv for awhile. 

Apparently one of the mothers had thought she saw me understanding them from the start, but they all laughed. In the end, I was able to wish them a Happy Passover like I wanted....and for the record, they left me 18% without me adding the gratuity.

I have to 'bus' my ass tonight!

The bussers are BUS-ted! 
Ok. I'm done with that joke, I swear.

On a typical night, the servers tip our bussers between 2-4% of our server sales.
If they bring bread and water to my tables, I give them 3%.
If they help me box food, 3.5%.
If they do all of the above and help clear plates on my tables, I give them 4%.

The managers aren't really allowed to tell us what to tip-out. Some weird corporate thing, I'm sure. Anyway, I'm not sure how they figured it out, but the managers realized on a night where the busser has 4 servers to take care of...if he knows two of them tip him higher than the other two, he'll neglect the two that tip lower. This means the servers tipping lower are wondering, "where is my busser?" all night!

To make things more "fair," the managers have told the bussers they are no longer permitted to get us water and bread for the tables, no longer allowed to help clear or box food. Their #1 priority is to keep the server stations around the restaurant stocked with full water pitchers, plates, and glasses.

PROS: 

• I never go to grab a water pitcher and find that all 8 in my server station are empty
• We're now told to only tip-out 2% for the busser....that could mean $20 instead of $40!
• Running around because I have more work to do is good for my upcoming trip to Hawaii ;)

CONS:

• When I get triple sat, it takes forever to get water and bread for all my tables. I get a lot of, "is the bread coming?" from the guests
• I'm a girl. I feel my carpal tunnel getting worse with those heavy plates
• I miss the extra help already :(

I mostly feel bad for the bussers. I think they SHOULD have a job like ours where the harder you work, the more money you make...

Don't let Grandpa tip!

You know I love making people feel special.
And I also love old people.

But, if you're out with your grandparents, and they're footing the bill....maybe you should double-check the tip.

I had a really nice table of two guys and their grandparents.
Grandma is vegan, so I went over the menu and helped her choose something she'd like. The guys were overwhelmingly thankful. They'd brought in a cake for one of the brothers' birthday. I made sure it was perfectly timed...you know, made it really special.

When I went to box up the rest of their cake, I decided I deserved a little piece for my hard work (they'd never notice) so I took the tiniest amount, and there was still a half a cake left. I brought it out, and had an "uh-oh" moment.
The grandkids are gone. 
Grandpa's treat. 

I wonder how they'd feel knowing Grandpa left me $11 on $93...that's an ALMOST 12% tip. Maybe that was a good tip back in his day...

I should have taken a bigger piece of cake.

Code 45

You win, sir. 

For the oddest and most annoying response to,
Do you have any questions about the menu I can help you with?

"I'll have the Coupon 45."

Excuse me, what?!?
"You know, that pasta where you buy one and take one home."

Ugh. That beats the server who just tells guests it's on the, "second page, bottom left" before they have a chance to ask.

From here on out, I will refer to tables who are guaranteed to order the two for one pasta deal as:

CODE 45
We got a code 45 over on table 15...Yeah, that sounds perfect.

"You could buy yourself a new car!"

14 insurance salesman from Kansas City.
2 female servers.
It's on.

I see nothing wrong with using feminine powers to get a better tip.
"Hello gentlemen! My name is Lindsay, and this is Minnesota....and we'll take great care of you tonight! Now, what are we drinkin'?"

Serious amounts of flirtatious laughter and batting eyelashes later, we'd gotten their bill up to about $550 when one of the salesman informs me they need individual checks.
FML.
Since we were kinda slow that night, my manager ok'd it, especially since I worked it out that I couldn't split their alcohol by who drank what...we'd just split the total by 14 and add gratuity.

14 credit cards later, they were all paid out (and no one else could find a check presenter) and we were thanking them for coming in!

"You could buy yourself a new car with that tip!" 
Sorry Mr. Insurance Man, but $91 doesn't go that far when you split it amongst SIX people.
Thanks for making my week night a bit more interesting, though!

WINNING!

Duh.

Ok, that's my one and only Charlie Sheen reference.

I know it seems like all I ever do is bitch. Effing guests! Shitty tips! Annoying co-workers! Anal managers! 

Bleepity bleep bleep bleeeeeeeeeeep!

But the truth is, some days are GOOD.
Apparently I've been making a lot of people feel special, because I've gotten a string of amazing surveys about me:

"Lindsay is a FANTASTIC server! My wife has a gluten allergy and Lindsay helped her choose an item she'd love. And when she saw us opening gifts for my wife's birthday, she brought out a plate of fruit instead of the usual complimentary birthday cookies, knowing my wife wouldn't be able to enjoy them. It was very thoughtful!"

"Lindsay is so friendly and knowledgeable about the menu. She helped us with our selections, and even brought a sample of the wine we ordered to try before deciding."


"Lindsay is the best server on the planet. She carried all 14 of our entrées out at once! She spoon-fed me my Rigatoni D! Even the water tastes better when Lindsay pours it!!!"

Ok, that last one is fake.
But the others are real! And I got 3 more just like it in the past week. So Bloggiano's decided to reward me....with a $20 giftcard to their sister restaurant, that serves fast-food lower quality Italian food (compared to ours). Thanks for that. Just what I wanted. To go eat Italian food. 

I also got introduced to one of the visiting corporate Big Wigs in town. While doing my checkout, I overheard he and my GM discussing hiring techniques and how you can tell if someone isn't smiling or looking happy while waiting for an interview, that they won't be a good fit...then my GM interrupts saying, "Oh, well have you met Lindsay??" 
Gee. Thanks GM. Because I'm SO unhappy looking and NEVER smile. And she says, "Oh no! That's not what I meant! She's great!" Cut to the next day when she made sure to tell me he loved meeting me and asked her all about me....no thanks to her awesome introduction.

One more little pat on my back: I've been asked to start training to be a cocktail server. The managers told me it's for the "best" servers. The male serving staff told me it's because they just realized all of our cocktailers are ugly, and they need some eye candy. Hey, maybe it's both! I'll take it. Now I just need to improve my alcohol knowledge!

What's your favorite cocktail???

Carry the 1...

This short little post is just because I find it absolutely ADORABLE when guests are adding the subtotal and tip, and they mark when they carry the 1 on the check....

You guys are just so cute. 

                                      1
Subtotal: $40.34
Tip:           $8.56


Total:      $48.90

Really? ....REALLY??

It's Emma's 98th birthday.

It's a milestone. It's special. And I, your server, would LOVE to make it special for you and your 8 family members.

I will go out of my way to hand deliver Emma's meal. I will keep your glasses full. I will smile and keep your table perfectly maintained. And when I bring out the tiramisu (Emma's favorite) with a big candle and personalized plate....I will get the attention of the ENTIRE restaurant, and have them sing Happy Birthday to Emma, on her 98th birthday! Yes, the entire restaurant. And we don't sing at Bloggiano's.

But I'll admit it hurts when you give me one of the biggest verbal tips of my serving career, only to slash the suggested 18% gratuity marked on your bill...and cut me down to about 12%.

That one caught me by surprise. 
I never thought I'd actually see something like this..

Suggested 18% Gratuity

Crying over split soda

Four months into my serving career at Bloggiano's, I had my first incident where a guest made me cry.
Damn it.
I blame the long weekend. I was burnt out, and made a stupid mistake.

It wasn't a very busy Tuesday morning shift, but I had a few tables. Then I got sat a party of 7 guests.
Right off the bat, things went sour when one of the women at the table reached for bread, and knocked over her diet coke all over the table.

The bussers quickly got everything cleaned up. When I went back to the table to check on things, one woman commented on why I hadn't brought refills. Ugh. Sorry.
It takes me five minutes to ring in their order, thanks to them all ordering soup and salad combos, adding and subtracting a variety of items from each . Ugh.
All goes well, and I'm informed by the hostess while they're eating that there are two birthdays at the table. Double Ugh. I'm so busy now.

I go to get the birthday cookies. We don't have any birthday plates pre-made. I KNOW I need to wow them more, so I make the pantry staff write in chocolate for this table. While I'm waiting for the plates, my busser comes in and says they're asking for the check. UGH. I give it to him, and I wait two more seconds, then follow with the birthday plates. The group smiles, and they wish the two ladies a happy birthday. I think I'm safe, but I'm not. They hand me cash and ask for the remainder of the bill to be rung on the credit card. I quickly get it done and return in a minute. They look, and say I must've miscounted the cash. My heart skips. I look in my bank. FUCK, I did. 

Now I need a manager to void the charge and re-ring in the correct amount. This is a HUGE pain in the ass, and it's happened to me once before. My manager is pissed. I show the woman proof of the void and the new charge, and she flips out. "Am I going to get TWO charges on my bank statement now??" UGHHH
I get the manager because I tell her I don't want to give incorrect information. I immediately start crying as the woman yells at the manager and I like we are five years old. 

You'd think I charged her a huge amount right?? The first charge was $40. The second, $20.
In the end, the manager voided her credit card completely, taking her amount off the bill. And I will surely get written up. I cried in the back for about 5 minutes because once I start, I can't stop.

So happy I'm not working today!

Clusterf*ck Weekend

I went to bed with my feet throbbing from an 8 hour shift.
I woke up, and they still hurt.

This weekend was a clusterfuck. There's no other way to describe it.

SATURDAY
Saturday morning didn't start off well. I was feeling pretty chipper while setting up the restaurant (thank you ipod) until I was 5 minutes from break time and our GM asked me to take my co-worker, Minnesota, to urgent care. Apparently she popped her back while getting out of the car. No break for me.

Right when I got back, the restaurant opened and I had my first crazy hit with only 2 of us serving. Awesome. We're supposed to have 7 servers on this lunch shift, but with one person calling in, and Minnesota in the ER, we're down to 5. The first turn was smooth, and my friend Jared even came in with his mom to get his birthday lunch (Hi Jared!) but right as they were leaving, things started to get wild.

I had so many tables, and no partnered sections so we were all on our own. It was so bad I actually had to scroll down to look at all my tables on the computer screen. Me, a girl who normally cocktails (and worked my last Saturday clusterfuck shift with me), Homer, and the Old Lady from my serving class who SUCKS....wait, that's only 4 servers you say? Ya, because they cut one girl early at 1pm. WHY??

For the rest of the day, I never had less than 5 tables at once, usually more like 8, while also getting large parties. I nearly drowned. "In the weeds" can't even describe it. It was one of those days where I didn't even know how to help myself, my brain was scrambled and I just ran from table to table. Thankfully, I still got AWESOME tips because I kept smiling and hid my panic well. Even though I wanted to cry, I made almost $200 that lunch....the most I've ever walked with at Bloggiano's. So I guess it was worth the craziness!
Sales: $1250

SUNDAY
Worked a closing dinner shift, which I seriously hate. I really need to tell the manager I don't want to be a night closer. So not worth it. This shift was ALSO a madhouse because we had about 300 reservations, where we normally have about 150. Right when we came on at 4:30, the bussers were on break. Awesome. It was nuts. My partner ended up taking the bulk of our small tables, while I took our large parties. Both went really well until on my second party of 13 doing Family Style where the kitchen FORGOT my salmon entrée. SHIT. And that's not an easy item to make "on the fly." I did the right thing and got a manager involved. Didn't want to risk my tip on a bill that was over $400! The host was a little on edge, but the group was wow'd by the manager and chef hand-delivering the items and then bringing out a special VIP dessert platter. Phew. Still got my 18%. 
Sales: $1100

Net Sales from this Weekend: $2350 

Who wants to give me a foot massage??

Rose is 82.

Oh yes. 

February 11th was Rose's birthday, and you can BET she was at Bloggiano's.
(I can't believe I hadn't written about this yet!)

She had very specific requests demands:

-Balloons and flowers at her table for her and her friend 

-Her "special" minestrone soup ready when she got there

-To not pay for her coffee

Laila is a saint, because she actually paid out of her own pocket to make it extra special for her. When Rose arrived, she was overwhelmed with the amount of visitors and "Happy Birthday's" she received from the employees.

She kept saying how much we must really like her, and how she felt so special. See, sometimes Rose can be a little sweetheart. Even our General Manager went over to talk to Rose, and when she left the table she came up to me saying...
"I didn't realize Rose knows you as the 'little Jew girl'" 

Hey, whatever works! 

At the end of the meal, I brought Rose a specially made fruit plate with candles and EVERYONE sang! Homer got in real close and sang right into Rose's ear. That's probably the closest proximity she's ever been to a black man. I'm just saying, she was smiling ear to ear.

This little Jew girl got the biggest tip Rose has EVER given to a Bloggiano's employee: $5
...That may or may not have been because her entire meal was comped.

Can you feel the love tonight?

Nope.

Just like every other holiday I've worked, (and I've worked them ALL) Valentine's Day is a day people have to spend money when they don't want to spend money. So what do they skip out on?? You guessed it!

"Oh hey, folks! Have you heard about our special Valentine menu for two? It's $79 for an appetizer, 2 side salads, two entrees and dessert with two glasses of wine!" 

Cut to when I see what they've left me after they thank me SO much for the wonderful service, and multiple cocktails: 10% tip. Am I still in America?!?

WHAT THE EFF?!? I canNOT feel the love tonight, people! Not only should you feel bad for me that I'm working a holiday, but you should tip me extra for making your special freaking night special as can be!!!

My worst tips for the night (and possibly EVER):

$10 on $93
$15 on $106
$3.13 on $42

By the end of the night, I started to want to tell the men at my table: "Tell your lady to get the chipper chicken if you can't afford to tip me an appropriate amount!" 
(I hope you get my Father of the Bride reference)
My last table had the Vday special, plus 3 beers for the guy. The bill came to $108. I took the payment: $100 in giftcard, and $16 in cash. Hmmm, maybe he doesn't realize he's only tipping me $8...
So I hand him the change and the receipt from the giftcard. "You didn't have to bring this back," he says. And leaves it as is. You're really going to not tip me 20% when you didn't even really pay the bill out of your own pocket?!?
DICK.

Ladies who dined at Bloggiano's for Valentine's Day: You are all dating cheapskates. 

Congratulations. 

Did I say that out loud?

Sometimes, I lose my filter.
I forget to be polite.
I snap from all the cheap people in this world.

This particularly cheap couple opted for the "waters only, and we'll split a buy one, take one pasta" route.

Awesomesauce.

Oh. Did I mention that they had a $10 off when you spend $30 coupon? So I tell them they haven't spent $30...the pasta deal is $12.95. They order a Rigatoni D, and a Diet Coke.

Their bill?

$32
...which became $22

When I brought out their take-home lasagna he says, "This looks like half a lasagna."

Word Vomit....
"Well, sir. It's a FREE lasagna."
::Big Smile::

Obviously, he tipped me off the $22, and not the originally $32 total:

$3.

Corporate Cake

Oh, corporate restaurants.

If you're home this evening thinking, "Hmmm I'd LOVE some cake, but I'd prefer to not pay for it..." here's how to make that happen:

• Go to a corporate restaurant. Oh I don't know, maybe Bloggiano's?? 
• Bring your own teabag and ask for hot water. (It's free.)
• Order the chocolate cake.
• Eat half of the cake.
• Tell your server you don't like your cake, even though you've eaten half. 
• Get a manager involved.

Ta-da!

Free Corporate Cake!
I hope you all sense my sarcasm.

Full Moon

Remind me to request full moon shifts off from here on out.

Saturday, January 29, 2011 will be remembered as one of my worst shifts yet. And I don't even know how I lost control of it. Oh wait. I never HAD control. I blame the full moon.

Incident #1: Table 31 translating the menu to each other WHILE I'm standing there waiting for them to order. If you're not ready, I can come back! They were pretty low maintenance otherwise until their Family Style Linguini & Clams dropped all over the kitchen floor (not by me) causing them to wait way too long for their food. I was lucky they didn't complain, but I wasn't getting more than 10-15% even if the service had been perfect.

Incident #2: Table 1 (Old Lady) drops her purse under her booth and asks for a flashlight to find its contents. Ugh. We don't have flashlights, so I run around for 5 minutes asking everyone, and end up with a mini on some server's key chain. She's shocked at how long it took me, and then asks me if she can get Veal Parmesan as her "Tomorrow" pasta for our buy one, get one free deal. NO. It's a free pasta, lady! You take what I give you....and you like it!


Incident #3: Happening simultaneously to Incident #2, I run to the back room looking for a flashlight and stumble into what looks like a murder scene. A woman has tripped on the messed up floor panel and cut her leg open. And is bleeding all over the floor. While the back room is full of guests trying to eat. And our manager is piling cloths napkins over the pool of blood. Kudos to him for not puking or passing out. Good luck to Brinker on that lawsuit.

Incident #4: I get an order for salmon, parmesan-crusted like our tilapia. I put "See Server" into the computer, and go write it on the ticket because it's crazy back there. Eight minutes later it's still not out, so I check with Hottie Chef #2, who he hasn't even made it because I wrote it in without talking to him first. UGH. Cut to the end of the meal when the woman who ordered it asked to see my manager to, "say something nice about me" and ended up with a free meal and dessert.

Incident #5: Table 41, party of 6, orders three of our buy one, get one pastas to share. Awesome. But to make it even better, one of the couples will be sharing Gluten-free pasta. Ok, I can do that. When it comes out, they complain about the portion size being smaller than usual. I explain that we changed our portion sizes some time ago, and maybe they haven't been since. I also note that I'd be happy to put in a second order, that could be ready in just a couple minutes. The man insists I'm "wrong," because obviously I have every reason to lie (nope) and I immediately get a manager involved. Even after getting them a second dish, and two take home Gluten-free pastas for free specially made for them, you can guess the kind of tip I received.

Thank goodness for Table 3, a mid-thirties couple who calmly sipped on glasses of wine and shared an entrée. When I asked if they'd like one more glass and dessert, they skipped the dessert but opted for another glass because they were heading to meet with old college friends they hadn't seen since. Because they were the easiest/most pleasant table I had all night, I rang in some free lemon cookies and gave it to them with the wine. I told them the cookies were on me, because I knew they were in for an interesting night. She left me $25 on $60.

If only that $25 had helped me sleep better that night. 

Mormon Pink Sauce

Obviously I am sitting here looking at that title, giggling like a 12 year old. 

The best part about is it's a direct quote from my table of Mormons last night.

My party of 10 sits down, very friendly, and I go to get drink orders. Waters all around, and 2 Diet Cokes. Awesome. Thank goodness they are doing Family Style. Bloggiano's should be proud of how "special" I made them feel, while stuffing my pockets with their Mormon cash. They couldn't decide on only two appetizers, so I told them they could get three appetizers and one salad instead. 

Hallelujah! 

When they STILL couldn't decide on only three, I suggested they order an additional onion strings for the teenagers. 

Hallelujah! 

When they asked me about the vodka in the gnocchi's pink sauce, they informed me that they were all Mormon and couldn't have alcohol. Ohhhh now I get why there's no wine on the table! I kindly told them we are a scratch kitchen and can make the sauce without vodka.

"Tell the chef we need Mormon pink sauce!" -says the father of the table whose birthday they are celebrating.

Hallelujah!

Even with their millions of questions, I was feeling especially friendly and they loved me. This is a new thing for me since I dated a Mormon once and his mother hated me for being Jewish. "Aren't you nervous about going to hell when you die?" Yep, that happened. 

Anyway, dessert time rolls around and we have another alcohol issue. They definitely want cheesecake, but also want chocolate. Unfortunately, most of our chocolate desserts have liqueur, so that's not an option. I suggest my glorious Apple Crostada, and they go for it! I bring out two plates with "Happy Birthday" written in chocolate and they are totally wow'd. And when someone asks what's in Spumoni and I tell them how delicious ours is, they get an extra order!

Hallelujah!

Their bill got to $314 without any drinks, alcohol, or coffee....and I was pretty pleased! And to make it even better, they added any extra $20 for tip beyond the 18% included! 

Hallelujah! Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Halleeeeelujah!!!

Rose wants dough.

Well, it's a new year...

But for Rose, it's business as usual. She still...

1) refuses to pay for her soup (which they keep mostly for her because it's not on the menu anymore)
2) refuses to pay for coffee
3) leaves $1 or $2 in tip, depending on whether or not she likes her server

The other day she told me a story about how she asked our GM for a donation to the Jewish Community Center she's involved with...
"She looked at me and said, 'Again?' That's not very nice. You know The Pizza Factory donated $100. But, anyway, I know she's got a lot on her plate."

Oh, Rose.

When I asked our GM about it, she told me she already donated to Rose and is even hosting an event for her at the restaurant! No wonder, "Again?" was her response.

I'm afraid it's too late for dear, old Rose. She's a living stereotype. 
But as long as I continue to chat with her about Israel, she's on Team Lindsay, so we're good!

20% in 2011

I'm on a mission... to educate diners about proper tip etiquette.

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to not assume the worst of people, mainly my guests at Bloggiano's.
I WANT to believe the verbal tippers and people I've served well WANT to leave me a good tip. Maybe they really just don't know how...

So here we go, kiddies! Today's math lesson is inspired by a little song and dance I did for my friend, Alex and his family, when they came in to eat the other night. (As I told you before, Alex, if you don't request me next time...we will no longer be friends. And you're welcome, for mentioning you in the blog!) 

Tip your server 20%, which I strongly believe you should do unless something THEY did made the experience bad. I'm not talking about you not liking your food, or the kitchen being super busy, or the wait being long....I'm saying the server ignores your requests or is just a jackass.

Here's the easiest way to figure it out:

1) Look at the total
2) Move the decimal point over ONCE to the left
3) Multiply times 2

Ta-da!! 20%!!! You did it!!!

Example: Bill total is $43.95. Now we move the decimal over and it's $4.39. Multiply times two and you get about $8.78. TWENTY PERCENT!! :)

Another basic idea: For every $5 your meal costs, tip $1. So if you meal is $35, your tip should be $7. If your meal is $70, your tip should be $14. Learn your times table for the number FIVE, and you're golden!

...to all of my loyal readers! Be safe tonight! And don't worry, I'm serving it up at Bloggiano's NYE and New Year's Day! I'll be back in the new year with some great stories and rants for you!

Is it January yet??

Oh.My.God.

I am exhausted.

I've been working five shifts a week for the month of December, and I'm about to lose it. Yes, I know full-time people work five days a week, but I'm pretty sure you get to sit down and stare at Facebook (or hopefully this blog) all day for at least a little bit of your day. And you probably don't end up with marinara sauce all over your clothes...unless you're a really messy eater.

Being a server during the holidays is TOUGH. Guests are on edge being with their families, and stressing over money they have to spend on gifts. And the restaurant staff? We're all just barely hanging on... there was even a big argument at my server meeting tonight, which never happens.

Oh, and have I mentioned my schedule for New Year's? Don't worry, I'm working the dinner shift on NYE starting at 3:30pm and definitely not getting out before midnight...and that's fine. But wait. I'm right back in to work the lunch shift on New Year's Day...at 9:30am! Kill me now.


P.S. I know I'm going to be wishing it was December again when it's January and I'm only making $200 a week. 


I need a drink.

Merry Christmas!

Well, this little Jew just got home from working the dinner shift on xmas eve. Isn't it awesome to be a server? Honestly, I don't mind working because:

a) I'm Jewish
b) I made bank

....maybe now I could go buy some xmas presents for myself! Ok, ok, and maybe some for my family and friends ;)

While I'd love to say people were exceedingly nice and generous with tips on this holiday, it is not so. I think people are just annoyed about having to be with their family two nights in a row, so they're a little on edge. So thank you to my two Asian tables for tipping $10 on $75. Hope Santa remembers your generosity! Oh, and nothing beats the girl with tourette's who let out an ear piercing scream while walking by me. Ouch.

I still made more money in one night than I've ever made there, so no complaints here!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my wonderful readers! I'm thankful for you :)

Love, 

Lindsay

(Your server who made the holiday REALLY "special")