Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Cougar Town

Lately, I've been noticing our restaurant is a prime location for Cougars.
In case you've been living under a rock, I'm not talking about this kind of cougar:

I'm talking Stifler's mom from American Pie...
..Or Demi Moore marrying Ashton Kutcher, 15 years younger than her!

I'm used to the idea of men trading in women for younger models, but at Bloggiano's, it appears the women are the ones out on the prowl, so to speak. Just the other day, I waited on one table where the cougar even asked about an employee who was recently fired. He was notorious for hitting on the cougars that came in.

I felt nauseous serving my most recent cougar with her boy toy. They reminded me of that teacher-student couple so famously captured in Lifetime movies these days. She didn't take her hands off of him for even a moment. She even ordered for him, and told me what kind of things she knows he "likes." Ew.

"He'll have the baked ziti, but go easy on the ricotta because he doesn't like ricotta. You'd like the baked ziti, right baby?" 


For dessert, she ordered the profiteroles, which are pastry puffs with ice cream in the middle.

"But can you put the hot fudge on the side. You don't like hot fudge, huh baby?"


Once they came out, she asked me for some caramel sauce because he "LOVES" caramel sauce. I had to watch as she basically fed him and made groaning noises of satisfaction.


I guess a lot of men in Los Angeles have an Oedipus Complex.


  1. That...or will do anything for some free caramel

  2. Haha I guess you're right! I can see the appeal!

  3. The funny thing is, when you first mentioned cougars the first thing that came to mind was the animal. I don't know if it's because even though I barely glanced at the picture of the cougar before reading the first few lines, that my brain still registered it, or if its because I've been studying for eight hours straight. Anyway, I had a laugh at my own expense when I got to the 'living under the rock' and 'Stifler's mom' part.

  4. Hey now there's nothing wrong with Stella gettin her groove back!:)
    I've got a friend in cali who has always had great, um, love for the older gals. There's a market for everything and I think it's great, um, okay that 'cougars' are on the prowl. I see rich older men all the time with their trophy wives, um, girlfriends, um okay I mean 'dates' (and by dates I mean call girls) and it seems fair to me.
    And I'm a dude.

    Dignity and Respect
    Me, The JerBear

  5. A couple months ago I waited on a table of African American church ladies who were celebrating an 87th birthday. They were cool and I had a good time with them. They asked me to take a picture of them. As they were posing, one of them said, "do you know what a cougar is?" Let me make it clear, this might work for Demi Moore, but at some point it just makes you feel dirty.

  6. HAHA don't get me wrong, everyone. I believe in love for all....I just don't think I need to see it so explicitly! PDA isn't really my thing :)


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